Hazard
by MysticBluAngel
Summary: Pain is something no one wishes to experience. When that pain becomes less than bearable to the bearer, comfort is often sought. When received, something more can blossom from even the tiniest of feelings. But...can everything be overcome this way? HB.
1. Beneath the Surface

_Hazard_

Disclaimer - Me? Own this? HAHA! Yeah right.

_Beneath the Surface_

**XxX**

_Her skin was like silk, her taste like sweet, sweet candy, her hair like the gentle waves of the ocean, and her eyes like gems. She was like my favorite thing; she was like sweet snow. Her scent was of a spring breeze carrying the petals of wildflowers. I could not stop myself. She became my obsession, my escape, and my doom. My lovely, lovely deity. I slept, breathed, and trained while she haunted my mind. I became an empty shell without her. I knew that I had to have her. But she was to belong to someone else. I knew she did not wish to be with him. It was forced on her and she came to me in her distress, knowing, somehow, that I would not turn her away from me._

_...And she was right. The sorrow, the tears, and the misery...I drank it in like wine. Her words were bitter yet sweet to my ears. I found myself swimming in my own demise the moment I stole a taste of her petal-soft pink lips. She had recoiled in surprise, only to bring her fingers to her mouth. She stared at me with wide, scared eyes. I told her over and over that I would not abandon her, that I would keep her with me forever. I made a promise I was not certain that I could keep. I had tried to pass off what I felt for her as lust. I ended up going mad. I had tried everything to keep away from her. I had tried to convince myself that she was nothing more than a crafty spider, trying to capture me in her beautiful, invisible web of deceit. I wound up on her doorstep in the pouring rain. She took me in without question, inviting me into her home with a soft smile and kind words. She told me that I was always welcome to stay. She trusted my vows that I would do nothing to harm her. At night, my dreams were unbearable. I stayed for one night then left in the early hours of the morning, before the sun rose to shine down upon the sleeping world that was now my home._

_My love for her was a curse and a blessing at the same time. She was so beautiful, so inviting with her open arms. She sheltered me from my violent past, from my uncertain future, and from the horrible present. She was my solace. I found comfort in her arms. I found love in her heart. For the first time in my life, I felt that wonderful feeling of love._

_...But everything comes to an end. For me, it was too soon. For her, it was pain. It was the first time in a long time that I had cried. I lost the one thing in my life that meant anything to me. In that moment, I lost my sanity. I lost the only thing that held my soul in rapture and control. I lost the love of my life. I lost my heart. I lost everything._

**XxX**

The sun shone through the leaves, landing directly on his sleeping face. He groaned and opened his eyes, sitting up. He found himself on the ground; crimson gems surrounding him. He stared at them in loathing and disgust. Suddenly, her scent drifted toward him. He heard a branch snap beneath her feet and watched as she entered, tears flowing down her face. She ran to him, throwing her arms around him, her slender frame shaking with her sobs.

"I am so sorry..." She whispered; taking his face in both of her small hands. He stared at her, his expression completely unguarded. "I-I don't know how..."

"I never should have promised you. I should have known this would happen." He didn't have the heart to push her away. She gave him a tender kiss before pulling away.

"It isn't your fault." She looked around her with a frown. "Hiei...you-"

"I know." He turned away from her. She gathered every last one into her hands. "What are you doing?"

"May I...keep them? They can represent each sweet moment I had with you. I never want to let go." He swallowed the lump in his throat. Then he watched as she held them to her with one hand while trying to find something to put them in.

"Here." She looked up and stared at him as he untied the bandana from his forehead. She placed them gently inside without a word of protest, knowing it would prove futile.

"I never want to leave you." She whispered. "I want you to have something of mine." He thought for a moment before taking out his sword. She stared at him as he selected a few strands of her cerulean curls and cut them. It was not enough to be noticable but enough for him to have. She watched as he stared at it; a lost look in his eyes. She took his hand in hers and closed his fingers around the strands. "May the strands of time never tear us apart. Sometime, now, we are happy with each other."

"Botan..." He suddenly pulled her to him and breathed in her scent, trying not to cry in front of her. He never wanted to cry again. Then he gave her one long, soft, bittersweet kiss. He broke away reluctantly and watched as she stood up on shaky legs. Tears still burned in her amethyst eyes.

"I love you, Hiei."

"I...I love you..." He said softly.

"Good bye." They said in unison as she summoned her oar. Then she flew away from him. He fell forward and pounded his fist into the ground.

"Dammit!"

**XxX**

_I let her go. I let her leave me. Afterward, I am not sure who but someone found me. He took me to his home, tried to get me to eat and drink for I don't know how long. I kept hearing this faraway voice. I was afraid to leave my sheltered darkness. I didn't want to. I wanted to stay. Forever, if need be. I wanted to remain in my dreams, in my past. I wanted to forget ever having said good bye._

_**"Good bye isn't always forever...I will find you again."**_

_I remember... Someone from my past said that. I...I think I said it when I was leaving Yukina. I said it to myself, years after I had been abandoned. Finally, inevitably, I was forced awake when someone poured water over my head. Freezing cold water..._

**XxX**

"Hiei, what happened?" The koorime found out that it had been Kurama who had found him. He couldn't bring himself to answer the kitsune's question. He felt the life literally drained from him.

"How long have I been out?"

"Oh, only a week." Kurama's voice was dry, edged with impatience. "You should eat something."

"Hn." His friend left the room quickly. He sat up and felt a dizzy spell nearly force him back down. Depression was eating away at him, slowly sucking the soul from his body in the most painful way possible. He got up and went to the window. It was noon from the position of the sun. It must have been the weekend because Kurama was not in school. He stared out into space until he heard something downstairs. He went down and noticed Kurama's ningen mother had come home and was helping his friend cook.

"Hiei, why don't you take a shower? That will give me enough time to finish." Hiei nodded. He no longer felt upset. He just felt empty. Walking up the stairs, he went into the room and went to the closet, where he knew the kitsune kept his clothes. He picked out a pair of black baggy jeans with the chains that hung down past the knees, black boxers, a new white bandana, and a black t-shirt. He didn't have the energy or the need to train. Then he went into the bathroom and stripped after getting the shower to the right temperature.

**XxX**

_In a way, I let this happen. I allowed myself to fall under her spell. I let myself fall in love with her. I used to call it such a stupid ningen emotion. Now, I know different. I know that I was wrong. I was drowning in the lie that I did not need anyone. I was a coward to think that I could hide forever from the inevitable. But to fall so hard...I could never regret any moment with her._

_I could never convince myself that it is all right that she is gone. My sweet deity...I will not let go._

**XxX**

"Hiei?" The koorime looked over at Kurama as the kitsune entered the door with Yuusuke, Keiko, Kuwabara, Shizuru, and Yukina behind him. Yukina gasped softly and rushed to his side, her crimson eyes swirling with concern.

"What has been done to you?" She asked softly; seeing him flinch at her touch.

"Nothing." He said coldly. Yuusuke could sense the exact thing that Kurama told him he sensed. A cold, dark depression and emptiness. Yukina looked greatly upset and unsettled. She didn't know he was her brother but she had a deep affection for the fire demon.

"Hiei, we know something happened. Why won't you tell us?" Yuusuke sat down on the other side of the couch. Shizuru was trying to make out exactly what the other thing was that she sensed.

"There is nothing to tell." Hiei snapped irritably; pulling away from Yukina like she was diseased. He stood in front of them all, anger beginning to burn in his blood-red crimson orbs. "If there was something wrong, it would be none of your business, anyway."

"Hiei, please-" Yukina stood and went to clutch at his arm. His eyes went wide and he backed away from her.

"Just leave me alone." He growled.

"But-" He cut her off with a harsh glare. "Hiei..." Small tears slipped from the corners of her eyes. He stared at her in horror.

"N-No...Yukina..." He took one small step toward her. "P-Please, stop it!" The look on her face cut him deeply. He had done it again. He had been the cause of her pain. A soft look crossed his face and she blinked when he was suddenly in front of her, holding her against him with one arm. The other brushed away her tears. "Sister, no more tears." Everyone stared. All went quiet. Kuwabara twitched and his mouth dropped open in shock. Yukina stared up at her brother before wrapping her arms around him and clutching him tightly.

"Your wounds are deep. Please allow us to help you heal them."

"I will do that on my own." He gently pulled away from her.

"Why did you not tell me before now?"

"I was hoping you would give up so you would never have to know. I am not the ideal sibling. I am not kind and caring; I am not all of those things you needed or wished me to be. All I could do was protect you." He began walking from the room. "I did that in shadow since we were young." The ice apparition turned to look at the group.

"He is in pain. Something happened to him and to Botan-chan, too."

None of them knew what.

**XxX**

_It would be bold and stupid for me to tell them. It would do nothing to help me heal. Besides, the last thing I wanted was pity. If I told them, all they would give me is pity. I left the shelter of Kurama's home about a week after that incident. I could not bring myself to go back to my tree just yet. Nor the park. I went the other way. Now, I have a tendency to get bad luck at the worst moments. This was one of those times. I happened to walk past her house. It was small and quaint, fitting well with the neighborhood it resided in. Being curious to see if she had carted her things to Reikai, I had to see the inside for myself._

**XxX**

Hiei checked all of the windows, finding the window of the guest room unlocked. He opened it and crawled inside, closing it behind him. His crimson eyes scanned the room. All was as he had left it when he left that one morning. He rested his gaze on the door and went through. The long, narrow hallway met him when he opened the door. He closed it before walking down to his right, where he knew her room resided. The plain, white door greeted him. He moved to go inside but hesitated when his hand rested on the bronze doorknob. Taking a deep breath and holding it, he pushed open to the door to be greeted by stillness. Deafening silence hit him and he realized that nothing was even moved since he had last been there. His eyes rested on the windowsill, where a dozen browning, wilting roses were carefully placed. Five crumpled petals, that had once been like silk, rested on the plush, white carpet. He looked then at the bed before walking over to it. Her room...smelled like her. Everything in there...was her. He fell onto the bed and buried his face in her pillow.

"Onna..." The word passed his lips as he turned his face and closed his eyes. The cheery sunlight streamed through the blinds and the thin curtains onto his face. "Botan..." It was at the soft whisper of her name when his loneliness returned.

**XxX**

_I felt it again; tearing at my soul like a raven or a carrion crow tears at its prey. Her name awakened too many memories, too many doors yet to be locked, and too many emotions. Always being in control had become my strong point._

_...But now, it was my weakest point. It took one sweet deity to change me from the arrogant, cruel, and ignorant fool I had been to the weak and ignorant fool that I was now._

_Her sweet fragrance filled my senses and her presence filled the room. The soft, feathered pillow cushioned my head and cradled my muddled thoughts. The surroundings pulled me into a tender embrace of serenity. I drifted into a deep, peaceful sleep; one that I had not known in a long time..._

**XxX**

His eyes opened slowly, tiredness still encasing his mind. He gazed, as if in a daze, around his surroundings. Her scent teased and baited his senses. He looked down next to him, half-expecting to see her lying there. Disappointment welled up inside of him at seeing the spot empty and undisturbed. He shook his head. Nothing good would come of those feelings. Getting up, he left her room, unaware that he had left one small crimson gem on her pillow.

**XxX**

_The cold wind carried me through my dark thoughts. A soft, gray mist had settled over the city; creeping along the streets and through the alleys like slow rivers of lost souls. I sat on top of an apartment building; the one that towered high over the city streets, the one closest to **her**. I felt my resolve and barriers sliding back into place. The icy walls surrounded my heart, once more encasing me in coldness absolute. No one would breach my security again. I would make sure of it._

**XxX**

_This is the end of the first chapter of Hazard. Please review and tell me how I'm doing!_

_This is going to be one good HB. I have a feeling this is going to be a fun ride._

-Angel


	2. Inner Turmoil

_Hazard_

Disclaimer - As previously stated, I do not own YYH.

_Inner Turmoil_

**XxX**

_Days passed, feeling just as long as weeks. I recovered enough to realize that there was an empty feeling inside of me. It was like there was a gaping hole in my chest but every time I looked and felt the spot, nothing was there. It was a phantom pain. It was driving me insane. I was itching to hold her in my arms again; to feel her warmth against me. But I was forced to realize the hard reality involved in my situation. She was to belong to Koenma. She was to be like some prize that he had won. In all reality, he should know that he would never hold her heart. The way she cried when she found out... I remember it so vividly. I remember the despair in her amethyst eyes, the scent of salty tears, and the scent of depression inside of her. I knew something happened before she even said anything. The only thing I did not understand was why I even allowed Koenma to get away with it. It was only now that I knew why._

_It was because wherever I was, whoever I was with, misery kept me company like a curse; followed me wherever I went...and pulled others with me into it._

_It was because I loved her that I was able to let her go..._

_...Because I only wanted her to be happy. I sacrificed my happiness for her. I sacrificed someone who could have been my mate because she deserved better than me, the Forbidden Child of the Koorime._

**XxX**

Hiei hadn't been right in days. Kurama was the one that was painfully aware of his depression. Yukina had not gotten the chance to see her brother again since she was helping out at Keiko's parent's tea shop. The kitsune knew that he had to get to the root of the problem. He had to cure it before Hiei drove himself mad. He had to help.

_This is the first time that I have ever felt so helpless..._ The kitsune thought with a deep frown. He had no idea what was causing the koorime to suffer to these extremes.

The kitsune realized one night that it was time to investigate. It was going too far. A soft sound had woken him out of a sound sleep. The scent hung in the air like a fog. Kurama recognized the scent and jumped out of bed, racing out of his room to find whoever it was that was causing it. He burst through the door that he had followed the scent to and stared in disbelief at the scene unfolding before him.

"H-Hiei..." His soft voice did not even cause the koorime to stir. The soft weeping sound that was coming from the koorime's throat made him feel like crying. He walked cautiously forward and noticed what he had been looking for. Tears. Hiei was crying in his sleep. All because of something that he wouldn't breathe a word about.

_I do not want to find him like this again... I have to do something. But what?_ The kitsune contemplated something before taking a gem from the bed and quietly retreating from the room. He went back to his and dressed, getting ready for a grim meeting.

**XxX**

Kurama arrived there quickly enough and got through the gates effortlessly. The night was soundless and starless in the realm of the spirits, known as Reikai. The stealthy kitsune walked through the hallways without even a suspicious glance from a passing ferry girl. He found the door he was looking for and knocked softly. The door opened and a disgruntled Botan appeared before him in her robe. He stared at her with his penetrating gaze and she realized how serious it must have been. She let him inside without a word before closing and locking the door. Then she stared at the kitsune.

"What is it at this time of the night, Kurama?" She asked. She looked pale and had bags under her eyes like she had not slept in days. He leaned forward a bit more to see that her eyes were red from crying. He dug into his pocket before drawing forth the thing of great importance. Her eyes went immediately wide. "W-What are you..."

"I want the truth." He stated coldly. "What happened?" Botan felt her stomach clench as the memories that had been plaguing her returned.

"I-Kurama, we..." She couldn't get the words out. So she took the other way out. "Are you certain that you wish to know?" Kurama nodded.

"Hiei has been nothing but depressed for a week! This was the last straw. I saw him...crying in his sleep. He has not said one word about what happened to him to cause this. I want answers." She sighed went to her bed before drawing out Hiei's bandana and untying the ends. She withdrew something and held it up for Kurama to see.

"I didn't want to ever forget... Come and sit next to me. All will be explained."

**XxX**

_I felt so horrible about what was happening. It was all my fault. I let myself believe that we could have been together forever. Only now do I know the fatal mistake that I made. I allowed our relationship to continue... I immersed myself in happiness with him. I loved being in his arms and feeling a warmth spreading through me every time we kissed. It was so beautiful that I never wanted it to end._

_...Now that it has, I know that I must try to get away from this predicament. I did not want to marry Koenma. I wanted to be with Hiei._

_I thought now that I knew how._

**XxX**

Botan pressed her hand to Kurama's forehead and closed her eyes. The kitsune saw it all. He knew exactly what had happened. When the transfer of knowledge was through, the deity looked at him in shame.

"I want to see him again. I really wish that I could but Koenma forbade me to go to Ningenkai until we have been married and nothing could come between us." She gripped Kurama's shirt as tears coursed down her face. "I can't live like this, Kurama. I don't want to. I want to be with Hiei."

"Does no one here understand that this would be a forced marriage?"

"I am hoping to refuse the vow at the alter but I can do nothing more than that. Please, the wedding is in two days. It is at sunset. You must bring the Reikai Tantei and object to the union of me and Koenma." The kitsune knew that he had to do as she asked. Otherwise, nothing would bring Hiei nor Botan from their depressions. It had been a crushing blow to them. It had made them realize just how precious their bond was.

**XxX**

_I wanted to hold it in until the day before the wedding but I found it hard to contain such a secret from Hiei. I knew that I could not tell him. It had to be a surprise. He would probably run away if he knew. So, we would drag him with us without telling him the cause._

_I had my mind set on informing Yuusuke of the problem at hand._

_Botan was depending on me...and I would not let her down._

**XxX**

Kurama walked into the ramen shop to see Yuusuke, Kuwabara, Shizuru, Yukina, and Keiko. They smiled at him as he approached.

"What is it that you wished to inform us of?" He sighed at Yukina's question. He did not believe that he was really ready to tell them. Tomorrow. It was the day before they had to go to Reikai.

"Botan and Koenma are getting married tomorrow." He stated; his emotions carefully concealed. They smiled slightly.

"What's goin' on? Why the look?" Yuusuke asked. He pulled his hand out of his pocket and opened his fist to reveal a small crimson marble. Yukina gasped and her eyes widened.

"That is..."

"This is Hiei's Hiruiseki Stone. This is his tear gem. He was crying in his sleep. When I went to ask Botan for answers, I found that their problems are pretty much one and the same." They stared at him. "Hiei and Botan love each other. The problem is that Botan was selected, before she and Hiei even got together, to get married to Koenma. She went to Hiei in her plight. He didn't turn her away. But Koenma found out about them and is holding her in Reikai until the wedding." Keiko put a hand to her mouth.

"How horrible..." She said softly. "What do we have to do?"

"When they get married tomorrow, we have to be there. Do not let it slip to Hiei. He will not go if he knows. We have to protest to their union and Botan is going to try to deny it at the alter." He explained.

"I wonder how it happened..." Yukina said quietly.

**XxX**

_I felt pain at my own words. I felt like I was betraying Hiei by not telling him. But there was no other choice. Hiei would not go to Reikai. He would convince himself that it was better that way. I could not stand to see him so upset. The image of him crying was burned into my mind._

_Not to mention that Yukina was entirely determined to help her brother and her best friend. I could tell that she was just as hurt as I was about this. Hiei has been my friend for many long, long years. I could hardly stand around and do nothing. However, seeing Botan like that had pressed me to do it also._

_Their love was a lost cause that we would fight for._

_Their happiness mattered to us more than anything else._

_My friends meant more to me than my life. I would fight, as I am certain everyone else would, for them. I would fight for all I was worth to see them reunited in the end..._

**XxX**

Botan dressed in a black kimono with a gray obi. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail. She was scheduled for Makai. She looked at herself closely. At least she had given up on crying. It wouldn't do any good to look horrible on her wedding day. She was supposed to be happy, even though the thought of marrying Koenma made her want to curl up and cry. It wasn't like she didn't love him. She did...but not like that. Her feelings for him were merely what a sister feels for her brother or a father. She sighed and looked down at her necklace. One of the tear gems that she had gotten from Hiei... She had put it on a chain so that she could wear it. A knock at her door made her jump and snap out of her thoughts.

"Come in." She called. The door opened and Koenma stepped through. She frowned and placed the necklace beneath the cloth of the kimono.

"Botan, I wanted to talk to you about tomorrow." He closed and locked the door, making her feel really nervous.

"K-Koenma-sama, I have work to do." She stated; slipping on her sandals.

"Don't worry about that right now. I have the feeling that you're not really comfortable with this situation." She suddenly felt angry.

"Comfortable? Of course I'm not comfortable with it! You ended the best thing that has ever happened to me and you think I would be comfortable marrying you?" He flinched at her accusing tone and the words that she had chosen.

"Botan..." He walked toward her when he noticed the look on her face. "I..." He hugged her to him. She didn't resist but she didn't give in, either. She just stood there with her head tucked beneath his chin. "I wish you had a choice but...this is the only option open to us. When I found out about you and Hiei, I was happy that you found someone. However, Father had already picked the best-suited ferry girl to be my wife." She slowly wrapped her arms around him and cried. Hard. He rubbed her back and tried to keep himself from breaking down. His only love was Ayame. Botan soon calmed down and looked at him in shame.

"All this time...I was blaming you. I had no idea. You didn't tell me."

"I thought it would be easier this way." He rested his cheek in her hair. "I thought it would be better if you blamed me instead of...my father. It has to be my fault. If I had told Ayame before now..." She closed her eyes.

"Why did you forbid me from going to Ningenkai?" She asked quietly. He sighed.

"Because it would be easier for you. If you do not see him then you will not be in so much pain." His voice was steady as he answered her questions. He had been prepared for everything...even anger. But he was not good at mending a broken heart.

"I love him, Koenma. Why does it have to end like this?" She stared up at him, her eyes red and filled with tears. "I don't want this... I don't want it..." He bit his lip.

"I can't do anything, Botan."

"Yes, you can! Tell Ayame that you love her! Your father should understand." She broke away from him and began pacing. "Any good leader has to know to stand up for himself. He cannot have a woman he doesn't love by his side. It would be purely ridiculous; not to mention unrational." She felt hope fading away as the doubt on his face showed through. "Do not do this to me! Have courage! Where did any lord and leader get by hiding under their desks like cowards?" She felt sadness fall out from under her. Anger was replacing what little sanity she had left. But her plan made sense. No leader that ever lasted and survived got anywhere by hiding. "Do you want to be unhappy, regretting every waking moment after that alter? Do you want to be bouncing your son on your lap and telling him how much you regretted marrying his mother? Koenma-"

"Botan, stop!" The Prince of Reikai couldn't handle any more. "I would never regret marrying you. I would never doubt that I could have loved you. But I do not love you and that would be the thing that I would regret." He walked over and took her shoulders in his hands. "You would never make me miserable. Listen to yourself. You're making sense even when you've lost your mind." He smiled. "I hated myself for making you hate me by being the bad guy."

"Koenma..." She looked away from him and smiled. "I'm sorry for saying all of that but it is true. As a lord and leader of everyone here, you are going to have to stand on your own two feet. At least for once in your life to prove that you can do it." He made a move to say something but she continued before he could say anything. "You will have a wife to fall back on...but only when you need it. You cannot suffer her with your weight or else the three worlds will fall. Your father, Enma-sama, needs to see that for himself. I think he really knows about your feelings. This could be a test. You have to prove to him that you are not a coward." He stared at her for a long moment; reflecting on her words. "Trust me with this one." She pleaded. "Or else make us both miserable because we didn't get the ones we wanted at our side."

"Botan, you found out about this marriage thing before you and Hiei got together, didn't you?" He asked suddenly. She nodded.

"I was vulnerable and he didn't turn me away. He didn't try to take advantage of me, either." He noticed the loving look in her eyes. "He was just as lonely as I felt...I found that I couldn't turn him away, either." He sighed.

"I'll try to work up what little courage is down there."

"With as long as you've been holding it back, there must be enough for ten trips to your Enma-sama's quarters."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Absolutely nothing." She stated dryly. "Now, if you don't mind, I have work to do." She steeled herself for whatever would await her the next day. Even if it was a life of marriage with the man she didn't love, she knew that she would always love her koorime. The thought that he had cried for her made her heart swell with regret. She never wanted to see tears in his eyes. She never wanted to see another crimson Hiruiseki Stone ever again.

**XxX**

Hiei felt as though something was wrong. Kurama had barely spoken a word to him. Even though solitude was what the koorime wanted, he didn't really want to be alone. He didn't want to talk, he didn't want to sleep, and he didn't want to watch time tick by while the person he loved married someone else. The sun slowly climbed the sky. The wedding day was here. But he knew that once the day was through, he would be able to at least feel secure. Botan wouldn't have to suffer miseries on his behalf. She wouldn't be caught up in his mess of a life. She wouldn't have to cry because of him.

"Hiei, can you come with us for a little while?" He turned his head and looked back to see Kurama standing in front of Yuusuke, Kuwabara, and Yukina. He gave them an odd look.

"What is this all about?" He asked suspiciously. Kurama smiled at him reassuringly. He felt aggravated at the stubborn kitsune. It was then that he realized that he had felt an emotion other than depression, sadness, and loss. "Hn." Yuusuke grinned and slapped the koorime on the back.

"That's the Hiei we know!"

**XxX**

_I think this might be better left here. I kind of like this fic. I posted the first chapter to see if you'd all like it and base my decision to comtinue it on whether or not you did. But don't worry! This won't really get in the way of Fear of Fire or any other fic that I've been working on. Promise!_

_Please review!_

_-Angel_


	3. Decision

_Hazard_

Disclaimer

Do not own YYH... It seems like forever since I last wrote a disclaimer. (cries)

_Decision_

**

* * *

**

Botan stared into the mirror, her amethyst eyes glowing with fresh tears that she refused to cry. The woman on the other side of the reflective glass was unfamiliar to her. She was a beautiful bride, dressed elagantly in a soft feathery white. It was her wedding day, too. However, she was sad and wistful, filled to the brim with guilt and regrets. Perhaps her mistakes were the very same as Botan's.

"You look lovely, Botan-chan." Ayame commented softly. She was very concerned for her friend. The ferry girl was unresponsive and trapped within a daze of pain and loneliness. It made her problems seem miniscule. "How would like your hair to be styled?" She queried, her voice cracking softly. All Botan did was stare at the mirror. Then, suddenly, her expression changed to one of malice and hatred. She stared at herself with loathing, refusing to drop her gaze or even blink. "Botan!" The next sound heard in the room was a choked sob as Botan collapsed on the ground in a quivering heap.

* * *

_I feel so helpless. That woman is so somber... Could that really be me? Impossible that I have fallen so low as to become some pathetic weakling. How far have I really fallen? Hiei has given up so much. So much more than I did. I can't believe how selfish and cruel I really am. I shouldn't have allowed myself to fall in love with him. I shouldn't have gone to him in my plight._

_I felt so alone and I thought that the only one who could understand me was him. He always contained his emotions so well... perhaps even better than Kurama. I thought that he could help me mask the pain. Instead, I cried to him. I asked him for comfort, knowing how hard it must have been on him to give it to me... when no one ever gave it to him. I was such a fool. I couldn't have asked for more happiness than he granted me. Why did I do such a horrid thing? How could I have done such a terrible thing?_

* * *

"I'm sorry, Ayame. I want to be alone for a little while." The words were edged with invisible blood from the emotional scars that the young ferry girl had inflicted upon herself. Ayame nodded and was about to walk out when she heard her friend's soft voice, tinged with confusion. "Why did you want to help me today? How can you still harbor friendship for me? I'm marrying the man that you love." The dark-haired ferry girl smiled sadly as she looked back at Botan. 

"You have caused yourself enough pain to last a lifetime. You've become a person of self-loathing because of your proclaimed 'weaknesses.' What more could I wish upon you when this was not even your fault? You have made yourself miserable even before the wedding. What kind of friend would I be if I abandoned you now?" Her words were far from bitter. Botan softly protested when her friend reached for the door knob.

"Thank you, Ayame-chan. You don't know how much this means to me..." However, she knew that the ferry girl did have some idea. That was why she was willing to do it. Before she left the room and completely closed the door, Ayame gazed at the young bride.

"I will be back in ten minutes with the rest of your things." She said in a semi-cheerful tone as she closed the door. Botan sat up, feeling slightly nauseous. Her eyes watered again for the millionth time that very morning.

"I don't know how long I can take this..." She mumbled to herself. She forced herself to her feet. She had to endure it. After today was over, she could feel secure that she wouldn't have to go through the agony ever again. The mirror once again drew her gaze to it. If only this were a happy occasion. If only she were walking down the isle to meet with Hiei at the end. If only she weren't full of self-loathing on her wedding day. "Hiei..." The name slipped from her lips as a soft, timeless smile crossed her face. Her eyes were alight with a beautiful emotion and she saw the woman in the mirror become much more like the woman she wanted to be. "My beloved..." Her eyes went down to the small wooden jewelry box on her dresser. It was where the beautiful yet loathful Hiruiseki Stones were hidden. She reached out hesitantly. Part of her wanted to hold them, yet part of her was afraid to even look at them. Her door opened and she snapped out of her thoughtful daze.

"Here's your veil. George forgot that he had fetched it earlier this morning." Ayame let out a small, musical laugh. Botan whirled around and smiled bravely. Her friend seemed surprised at her expression.

"I think...I want my hair down. I never usually do that so I figured, why not?"

* * *

_I was willing to admit that being around them helped me to forget some of the pain. It helped to pass the time as we sat at Yuusuke's. Kuwabaka and the Reikai Detective were feuding over some stupid contraption that I have become familiar with called a video game. Apparently, the oaf wasn't willing to admit defeat and was adamantly declaring that Yuusuke cheated. However familiar this setting has become, something about it was unsettling. Perhaps it was the kitsune's quiet and somber nature. He had barely spoken to me since he asked me to join them. I had considered the notion that he knew more than he was supposed to but I threw that thought aside. If I had told no one, who was there for him to ask? My mind unwillingly drifted back to my thoughts of her. Why could I not get her out of my mind? On second thought, why could I not carve out my beating heart and burn it in the fires of eternal damnation? Both seemed pretty damn impossible. In fact, they both seemed to have the same level of impossibility._

_These thoughts were frustrating me to no end. Who was I becoming? Who was I now? I wasn't even able to recognize myself. When had I changed so much? Why had I changed so much? Was pain really that effective? Or was it that emotion called love that I had never really believed in? My mind was swirling with so many questions that I couldn't even stop to think of any answers. Only one question stood out so boldly that it failed to get lost in the rest._

_Who was I?_

* * *

Yuusuke watched him worriedly, trying every so often to glance at him when he wasn't looking. Though he seemed quite normal with his usual impassive expression set in place, the detective knew what or who was swirling around in his mind. He noticed Kurama watching the clock. The kitsune was beginning to seem like he was impatient. 

_Never thought I'd see the day..._ He tried his hardest to produce his usual lopsided grin when his friends stared at him. Kuwabara seemed oblivious to Hiei's plight. It was almost like they never told him. The only hints that he was ever told were his subtle glances at the koorime.

"C'mon, this is insane! I haven't had this game long enough to learn any cheat codes!" Yuusuke poured just the right amount of frustration into his voice._ I should try out for the drama club. _"You're just being a-" He was cut off by his front door slamming. His mother was home. She had been out on another binge. She was starting to do it less often after the Dark Tournament. His chocolate brown eyes gazed nervously at the clock. The silence was so thick that the ticking of the clock seemed to have slowed.

"What were you gonna call me, you little punk?" Yuusuke lazily moved over to avoid being hit with a flying controller. He bit his tongue, feeling as though foul language had become less enjoyable ever since Keiko began to slap him for it.

"Nothing. It isn't worth it." He flicked his wrist in aggravation. When would the waiting end? He hated waiting. It was one of his least favorite things to do. However impatient he was, Kurama seemed to suddenly surpass him. The kitsune's eyes were glued to the clock and his calculating emerald green eyes were narrowed. He was even chewing on his lower lip. That was so uncharacteristic that it was almost comical, if not for the gravity of the situation. Yuusuke was actually quite surprised that Hiei hadn't picked up the forced normality.

_He must really be messed up from this. Poor little guy. Well, we've only got another hour before we get to be wedding crashers. I wonder how we're going to do it, though. I hope Kurama has one of his fool-proof plans because we're really gonna need one._

* * *

Botan examined the bouquet of white lillies, feeling her nausea begin to make a return. She really wasn't ready for a rematch with it just yet but it seemed inevitable. She felt childish for being in the state that she was in. Ayame gazed at her before gently shoving the flowers into her hands. 

"We don't have much time to reflect, Botan. The wedding is starting soon. Don't worry, you'll be fine." The two stared at each other in an awkward silence. "Everything will work out as it should." Botan looked suddenly furious.

"That's just it, Ayame! I shouldn't be the one marrying him." The passion in her voice made her friend jump. "You should be the one walking down the isle to join him in holy matrimony. You're the one that loves him." Any argument was futile because Botan wouldn't listen anyway. "I-I wouldn't be able to give Koenma-sama what he needs."

"What do you mean...?" The statement seemed slightly absurd. Botan was the one best suited to marry Koenma because of her position and rank as the head of the ferry girls. "Everyone knows that you would be the best one to-"

"No! You don't understand what I mean, Ayame. I can't give Koenma-sama an heir." There was a slight pause and silence encompassed the room. "I would be betraying the one I love if I did such a thing... I already have to kiss Koenma-sama after the vows. But that is as far as I am willing to carry this. I don't love Koenma-sama and I never will. I would never be foolish enough to bring a baby into this world without love for the father." She looked down and felt her face begin to burn. "The only one I would ever start a family with is Hiei." Ayame felt herself beginning to shake with emotion. Botan was so passionate about her love for the koorime and about her decisions that it was obvious she would never betray her words.

"Enma-sama will not like to hear this. He will be furious with you." She reached out and grabbed her friend's shoulders. "Think about what you are doing. It is foolish. The only man you can start a family with is your husband." Botan smiled sadly.

"What really binds two people to marriage, Ayame? Is it the signed documents, the rings, the oaths? Or is it love? Think about it." She gently removed her friend's hands from her shoulders and stood. "It doesn't matter who I marry. I will not have children unless my husband is Hiei."

* * *

_Every step I take toward those doors...I feel as though I...have signed away my soul. The chains of imprisionment bind me as I walk, weighing down every step that I take. My memories of him...of Hiei...flash before my eyes. As I walk down the shadowed hallway, every small movement bringing me unimaginable pain._

_Step..._

**_I remember the look in his eyes after he first kissed me._**

_Step..._

**_I remember visiting him every day that I could, remember the happiness, however much he tried to hide it, that our moments brought to him, as well as to me._**

_Step..._

**_I remember the image of him, standing on my doorstep in the pouring rain, wanting only to feel the warmth of an embrace; my embrace._**

_Step..._

_**I remember seeing the Hiruiseki Stones as the day of judgement came closer. I remember the pain in his beautiful crimson eyes. I remember that he cried for me.**_

_I could feel myself fighting a losing battle. My mind and heart both tried to stop my body from moving toward the room where I was to be married. But it was as though someone were controlling me, as though I were watching someone else walking toward the room. I didn't have to look down to know that I held the bouquet in a white-knuckled grip. It was the only way I was keeping my nerve. If I stopped moving, I might stop breathing._

_**My heart pounded in my chest as I felt his lips against my own. I felt his hands on my skin, his fevered touches making me shiver in delight. We parted and I took his hand in my own, silently vowing to hold that very moment in my memory...forever.**_

_My heart was pounding. However, this time it had nothing to do with Hiei's fiery touches. I felt instant shame in myself for ever letting myself get into this position. Though, no matter how much I loathed myself, I could never actually regret what I had with him. He had made me so happy. All I could do was bathe in that happiness as the doors opened and I locked gazes with Koenma, my soon-to-be husband._

* * *

_I don't know if I should be so evil as to leave it there... Oh well. I'll get the 4th chapter out soon enough._

_Thank you all for reviewing._

_-Angel_


	4. Home

_Hazard_

Disclaimer

I don't own YYH.

_Home_

**

* * *

**

Botan gazed at Koenma, feeling tears sting her eyes. No matter how much she tried, she couldn't look away from him. He hadn't spoken with his father about reconsidering the wedding. He hadn't argued that he would rather marry Ayame. He hadn't summoned any of his courage. She began to feel as though he had no courage, that he had been trying to draw it from a dry well all along. She didn't pause and she didn't stop walking. Her resolve was crumbling. She felt like she was betraying Hiei, betraying every emotion she held inside of her. This felt so unreal to her. How she wished she were trapped within a nightmare. What she wouldn't give to wake up and be able to walk to the park to see her fire koorime. Wishful thinking was getting her nowhere but she didn't care anymore. It was the only way she could face the situation. She didn't have dumb luck like Yuusuke. She didn't have blind courage like Kuwabara. She wasn't a brilliant strategist like Kurama. She certainly wasn't a strong, battle-smart warrior like Hiei. But she had to draw on them, on their strengths in order to go through with the plan she had. As soon as she was standing next to Koenma, she could have sworn that she saw him mouth an apology.

**

* * *

**

_I need your strengths, you guys. I need to have the courage to do this... I admire all of you for all of the abilities that you gained throughout your life. Now, it's my turn to gain some experience in life. I know that you have my back, Kurama. I know that you would never break your promise to me. You are my back-up, if I should fail in this mission._

_If I stand here and cry, I really would be a coward and a baby. If I stand here and cry, I would not be worthy of Hiei nor of his love. I have to prove to myself that I really am worthy of such happiness. I will fight with all I have inside of me. I will do this for me and also for my friends. Ayame...Kurama...and...my love. This is for you._

* * *

Kurama looked at Yuusuke. It was finally time for them to depart. Once they were there, Hiei would probably fight with them but it was a chance they all had to take. The kitsune stood and opened the door to Yuusuke's room. 

"Kurama?" Hiei's voice contained suspicion. "What is going on?" Yuusuke and Kuwabara looked at their red-headed friend in alarm. If he suspected anything now, then they probably would have to start dragging him before they even entered Reikai. A young ferry girl appeared over them, her eyes shining with curiosity.

"Are you ready, Kurama-san?" She asked nervously. "I thought you weren't coming so I decided to find you. Do you wish for me to make the portal?" Everyone in the room directed their gazes at Hiei. The koorime's fists were clenched so tightly that he was shaking. His eyes were narrowed in pure rage. He looked ready to annihilate them all.

"Was this your plan, kitsune? How did you find out?" His voice contained fury, for which both Yuusuke and Kuwabara were grateful that he hadn't spoken to them. "I want to know what the hell you were thinking. I demand a proper explanation." His voice dropped and became way too calm. However, his eyes glittered with unbridled anger. "What the _hell_ possessed you to plan something like this?" Surprisingly, Kurama seemed ready and able to match the koorime's furious glare. He seemed ready to provide the explanation that Hiei had demanded of him.

"Not _what_, Hiei." In that simple phrase, the koorime's eyes showed understanding. However, not even those words were enough to get him to go to Reikai. "She doesn't want to go through with it. You'll understand that she told me that she wanted us there." Kurama seemed unusually calm, especially after spending the entire day being impatient. There was a resolve in the kitsune's eyes that made Yuusuke and Kuwabara both uneasy. "You are going to Reikai, whether it is willingly or by force. I had hoped that you would come to see sense and not force us to drag you there. However, if that should be the case..."

"You wouldn't _dare_." Hiei looked ready to go through a whole tournament full of fights before he would go willingly. "My affairs are none of your concern. Go, if you so feel the need to. I will not stop you. But I will not go there to see some fool ceremony that will forever bind two people to each other." The koorime had a lot of anger to let out and Yuusuke knew that even he might not be powerful to stop Hiei's rampage, should he see fit to go on one. "_I_ make my own decisions for my own life. It is high time you all considered doing the same."

"If you would only listen to reason-" Kurama made an effort at persuation and, unfortunately, failed miserably.

"Get the hell away from me and take your reason with you. I don't need any of you attempting to change my life!" Hiei's eyes flared with ebony fire. The kitsune staring him down was resilient, however, not to mention quickly losing whatever patience he had gained in the last few moments. His deep emerald eyes flashed amber, sparkling with enough anger to match the furious koorime.

"Forgive me then, koorime." He snapped, his voice growing deeper as silver streaks began to surface in his mane of red hair. "I did not mean to intrude upon your life. I only meant to help you in your time of need but I see that I thought wrong to perform such measures, as they are unappreciated and unwanted. After all, why should I tarnish my newly formed reputation in Reikai for something that will be wasted on the likes of your ungrateful person." His voice was ringing with challenge. Even Kuwabara saw the spark and knew not to ignite the fire.

"Stop trying to use that psychological dribble on me, _Youko_. Dare even you try to play fate?" Hiei wasn't backing down. Not to mention that Kurama looked ready to go on a tirade that would last the whole night through. "I know your games. I've seen them before."

"Then you know not to 'play fate,' right, Hiei?" The glittering amber orbs of the kitsune narrowed into slits as danger began to radiate from his aura. "Learn to trust others with friendly advice and maybe you would be a little wiser to accept gifts when they have been given."

"I was not aware that you spoke such nonsense." Both of them were furious enough to kill the other. Their friendship had been based only on a growing understanding of each other that seemed far too complex to anyone else. When it got down to it, their bond was just as fragile as the piece of paper that would soon bind Botan and Koenma in holy matrimony.

* * *

_Guys, if only you could read my thoughts. If only you could hear me. I am going to make a stand worthy enough to deserve all I have gotten these past few months. I will fight this to the very end, if I have to. I will not marry Koenma when I do not love him...nor will I depend on Koenma's frail sense of justice. He couldn't even talk to his father about this. He could've postponed this, given me time to plan on how I was going to deny his hand._

_However...I will still go through with it, even if I have no solid plan. I will not let you down...Hiei._

* * *

Botan listened to the man before them as he read beautiful words from an old leather-bound book. His deep voice resonated through the room, creating brief yet effective echoes. The ferry girl began offering her prayers to anyone that was willing to listen. As soon as the room became quiet and the man was about to ask them if they would like to be bound, in sickness and in health, she decided to let her voice create those same echoes, only allowing hers to ring with passion and courage. 

"Wait!" Everyone stared at her in surprise. "I cannot let this idiocy continue. My Lord Enma, I do apologize for rising against your orders but I do not believe that this marriage will work as you so hope it would." He stared at her with cold, calculating eyes. Any thought of taking back her words was gone. She removed her veil and let it fall to the ground at her feet. "Koenma-sama and I are not compatible in the way that marriage, even arranged, presents. I cannot let this marriage take place. Even if this act forces you to banish me to the afterlife, I will still stand at opposition to this union." She could handle afterlife, even nothingness, if it meant that she remained true to her unspoken promises to Hiei. As Koenma witnessed Botan stand up to his father, he felt terrible for making her put herself at risk when he should have been the one to do it.

"I, too, oppose this marriage, Father." His light brown eyes went to the ferry girl at his side. "I do not wish for this ceremony to continue. Father, I apologize for the waste of time but there is no way that Botan and I will be married." Just after the brief echo of the prince's words died, the doors swung open to reveal a very angry fire koorime. Kurama followed him, his amber eyes gazing around the room in steely resolve. Yuusuke and Kuwabara, however, chose to linger and stay out of the way of the two demons. Botan's breath caught in her throat as her eyes met his crimson ones. She gave him a brave smile.

"What is the meaning of all this? Does everyone oppose this marriage?" Enma's voice boomed, making everyone in the room flinch, not only from pain but from fear. "Why did you not come forth sooner, then? If you wanted to stop this marriage then you would have done well to do it sooner." His eyes narrowed in anger. "I do not have time to waste, sitting at my son's wedding if he doesn't want to be married." Koenma looked over at Ayame and she stared back at him.

"I did not say that I do not wish to be married... I do not want to marry Botan." His voice was soft, though still heard. "I would like to be wed someday to the woman of my choosing, Father." Enma considered it a moment before sighing. He stood and left the room, dismissing everyone without so much as a word. Botan stared at her friends in disbelief. They _had_ made it. Kurama had kept his promise to her. His eyes... The sparkling amber color surprised her because he was still in ningen form, though there were a few streaks of silver in his red mane. He looked pretty angry, not to mention that Hiei did as well. She began to wonder what had transpired between them.

"Hiei..." His name slid from her lips, betraying her emotions in the tone she used. All of the tears she had cried had left her soul dry and parched but seeing him standing there made her want to cry, made her soul swell with tears. She felt a grin force its way to her face, the same stupid grin that she always used to wear.

"Hn. It seems as though we weren't even needed, kitsune. What, then, was the need to drag me all that way?" The koorime let his glower rest on the demon at his side. He did, however, feel relieved that she was not marrying Koenma. Though, even while he had been miserable without her, he still felt as though he couldn't be with her. She stared at him with eyes filled with tears and emotions radiating from every pore in her body. He just closed his eyes and turned around and walked out of the room, leaving her to stare at his back. Botan looked down, feeling her legs give out beneath her. She fell to her knees, grateful that she could finally go back home with her friends and...him. In the few days that she had been held in Reikai, she felt as though they had been months. With the way her thoughts tortured her, it wasn't really any surprise.

* * *

She slept in Reikai that night but returned home early the next morning, eager to feel the weighted gravity of earth. A smile forced its way to her lips. Somehow, earth had become her true home. She hardly ever stayed in Reikai ever since she became Yuusuke's assistant. 

"I'm home!" Botan called out to the empty apartment, letting out a musical laugh as she closed the door. She felt relieved to see that everything was as she had left it. Her first task would be to settle back in and unpack her bag so she made her way to her room. Upon opening her door, a list of things to do formed in her mind. Her wilted flowers would have to be thrown away and... "What...?" A small gleam of something resting on her pillow caught her attention. She walked over and felt her stomach twist painfully as she realized what it was. "Hiei-"

"Botan! Are you here?" Someone's extremely loud voice made her fall forward in shock, her heart pounding in her chest. She got up and grabbed the object of her fascination before shoving it into her pocket. "Botan!" She ran out to see her door being thrown open by none-other-than Yuusuke with an embarrassed Kurama standing behind him.

"Would it be too much to ask for you to not act like a maniac?" The kitsune asked, his emerald eyes shifting nervously. "And you really should've knocked and waited for her to answer... Yuusuke, are you-" He was cut off by a cry triumph from the one he was trying so desperately to scold.

"Botan!" The maniac in question launched himself inside and picked up the squealing ferry girl, spinning around a few times. She hugged him tightly as soon as he set her down. "There's the smile that I missed so much." His voice was suddenly laced with concern as he asked her the most important question without speaking. She lost herself in a cheerful grin as tears stung at her eyes.

"I have errands to run today." She said, inviting them in to sit with her. "But tomorrow...can I spend it with you?" Yuusuke snorted then let out a yelp when Kurama elbowed him. The kitsune gave him a strong glare, leaving the boy confused for only a moment.

"Yeah, of course. Keiko's been dyin' to talk to you. Not to mention that Yukina is worried, too." The Reikai detective rubbed his side unconsciously while watching the ferry girl closely. "You sure that everything is fine?"

"I'm not married, am I?" Botan asked, a small frown passing her lips. "I really wanted to thank you for showing up yesterday. It meant a lot to me that you guys would break the rules for me." Yuusuke laughed heartily at the comment.

"Of course we wouldn't let a few rules come between us, Botan! I haven't let rules stop me since I learned what they were. The biggest shock to me was that Kurama would've defied gravity to get there. He was so determined..." Kurama looked away, his silence seeming to speak volumes. "I didn't expect you to get so angry at him, though..." The kitsune smiled slightly.

"His pride and arrogance are what make him Hiei. If he had gone willingly, then...something would have been wrong." Botan tried to smile at the statement. Though, it was difficult to hear, she knew what the koorime had been thinking. She bit her lip and gave Yuusuke a long look before averting her gaze.

"Yuusuke, I want...to talk to Kurama alone for a few minutes, all right?" The boy gave her a grin before ruffling her hair. He stood up and stretched.

"I have some stuff to do anyway. Keiko wanted to go shopping...which means of course I'm going with her." He rolled his eyes before giving them a wave. Then he strode out the door. He knew what they were going to talk about and he figured that...they really needed one of those talks before she saw Hiei again. He looked down at his watch before letting out startled exclamation. "Oh shit! I'm gonna be late!"

"I know what you want to say, Botan. Hiei is just-" She looked up at him with a hard gaze, making him drop his sentence without hesitation. The silence lingered for a little while before she sighed and looked away.

"Tell me that he didn't do it because he knew it wouldn't last. I know he loves me but...did he try it out because he knew that I couldn't be with him?" Her voice was soft but edged with frost. He felt a chill run down his spine. "Kurama, I still feel as though you know him best. What is going to happen to us?" The kitsune hesitated. He wasn't sure if he should answer but he knew that the ferry girl had a right to know. Unless...she had already figured it out.

"It is possible that he did such a thing. He's been lonely all his life and he could've thought that he wanted a taste of something that was forbidden. You know all about who he is. You should know what it is that was going through his mind while you were in Reikai. He tried to convince himself that you were better off with Koenma. He tried to tell himself that because he didn't want to drag you down or let you get hurt because of him." Kurama's soft voice somehow made the words easier to bear. "I don't know if he would allow himself to with you after he experienced such pain."

"You know...Hiei isn't my first love...or my second. But being with him made me...feel safe. Every time he held me, I believed that I wouldn't have to marry Koenma. I believed that he would protect me from every kind of pain imaginable. Those other times that I fell in love...they never seemed real." She looked over at him. "I would have laughed myself stupid if anyone told me that I would be so head-over-heels for the little koorime." He smirked.

"Things come to us in time. Once, I believed that Hiei would never love anyone but then I realized why. It was because he believed that he couldn't that he never did. It was then that I knew that he would eventually." Botan stood up and looked back at him.

"Thank you for giving me an honest answer, Kurama-kun. I sort of knew what you would say but...I hope it doesn't turn out to be like that." Kurama frowned. The chances were most likely that Hiei had willingly allowed himself to be emotionally free with her because he knew she couldn't stay with him, therefore she couldn't be hurt by him. How wrong he was. Hiei should have known that he was playing with something more dangerous than fire. Because of the koorime's actions, both of them wound up getting hurt. In the end, however, Botan was protected from marrying Koenma, as Hiei had promised. Some things worked out and others didn't.

_Life has always been odd..._ The kitsune pondered to himself as he left her apartment. _I just wish that it was easier to figure out._ Then again, he knew that it wouldn't be as much fun if life were predictable. _So much for that._ He allowed a smile to pass his lips. After all, Hiei was just as hard to predict as life was. Maybe he would wind up back in the deity's arms. After all, who could possibly resist when opportunity presents itself a second time? _Quite possibly, Hiei..._ The kitsune couldn't say for sure if Hiei was that stupid when it came to love. In fact, no one could have if they tried.

* * *

_So...did I do a good enough job? I really hope that I did because...this is kind of growing on me. And I did get Hiei back in character, right?_

_Unfortunately, I plan on ending it soon. I believe there are only a few more chapters...maybe not even that many._

_However, thank you all for reading this and also leaving me reviews! I am really grateful._

_-Angel_


	5. Eternity

_Hazard_

Disclaimer

I don't own YYH.

_Eternity_

**

* * *

**

Keiko was beyond happy to see her and spend the day with her. As they walked down the street with shopping bags in hand, they passed the park. Botan grew quiet, her eyes focusing on the ground so that she didn't look at that one place...

"Thinking about him, huh? You should talk to him, you know." Keiko took a sip of her coffee and shifted her bags. "Why are you upset? He has to care about you." The ferry girl looked up at her friend and tried to quicken her pace.

"Well... I-I guess that...he knew it wouldn't last so he decided to let himself..." She stopped. Her friend seemed to understand where the statement was going. "Anyway, let's leave that problem for later, okay? I have other things on my mind. Do you want to drag the guys to the movies later? I think it'll be fun!"

* * *

_As she talked, I could tell that the recent events had taken a toll on her. She was such a strong-willed person that she didn't want to wait to immerse herself in her old routine. But she was off-balance. She probably did realize that it would take time for things to settle back into normality. However, her chances of a relationship with Hiei... I wasn't so sure that everything would work out in the end. Of course, being her best friend, I hoped for her sake that it would. I didn't have much time to adjust and the truth was that I was still in the process of accepting her choice of boyfriend. I had no intention of insulting Hiei but he certainly didn't seem like boyfriend material._

_However, neither did Yuusuke... Speaking of Yuusuke, he seemed to accept the news the best out of all of us. He wanted to help the two of them get over the obstacles in their way. Unfortunately, it seemed like there were too many hurdles...and Yuusuke's never really been great in Phys. Ed, even though he fights demons and the toughest gangs in our area._

_Well, I know that I can't do anything to help her out. I wish I could give her friendly advice but this is just something that is beyond that kind of help. **They** need to figure it out for themselves... But seeing her so upset makes me sad... I only wish that I could put my arm around her and tell her that everything will be all right._

_...But I can't..._

* * *

Well, they did wind up dragging Yuusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama to the movies with Yukina's help. They decided on a comedy, having the need for a good laugh. After it was over, they all walked out with grins on their faces. 

"At least it wasn't a craptastic chick flick! When you asked us to come, we were all pretty suspicious." Yuusuke shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked next to Kuwabara and Keiko. Yukina was on the other side of Kuwabara and Kurama and Botan were behind the line. Suddenly, the ferry girl noticed the mini-arcade.

"I want to see if we can win some stuff out of the machines!" She grabbed Kurama's arm in one hand and Yuusuke's arm in the other and dragged them with her into the room. "Look! How cute is that, Keiko?" Keiko ran over, arm-in-arm with Yukina as Kuwabara tried to keep up. Botan was pointing to a small stuffed black cat with purple eyes and a red collar. Yuusuke rolled his eyes and scoffed.

"That looks easy to get. Here, let me have a few bucks." Botan handed him some money. "Let the master show you how its done!" He cracked his knuckles and tossed some money in the slot before taking the joystick and yanking it in the direction of the cat. A few minutes later...

"Thank you so much, Kuwabara!" Botan exclaimed as he handed the cat to her on his second try. Yuusuke had given up after she said she wouldn't give him any more money.

"Aw, it was nothin'." He said with a shake of his head. Then he noticed Yukina peering at something, her hand delicately pressed against the glass. "See somethin' you like, my snow princess?" She looked over at him with a curious expression on her face before smiling.

"I like that little bear in the corner." She pointed to it. It was a little brown bear with a white baseball cap, holding a small flag. He grinned and nodded as he stuck more money into the machine. "Oh, Kazuma, you really needn't try-"

"Nonsense, my little snow angel! I'd get anything for you!" His loud voice was beginning to attract attention, the girls noticed. Then they also noticed that Kurama and Yuusuke had vanished. When they went looking, they saw that the two were playing a different game. Botan smiled at her best friend, wishing that everyday could be same. However, she knew otherwise. Things would be different for her and Hiei both, if the koorime ever decided to talk to her. "Oh, yeah! So, Urameshi, now what? I'm better than you!" Yuusuke either ignored him or just didn't hear him...but Kuwabara felt as though he acheived a personal victory as Yukina held the little brown bear in her hands.

"Come on, let's get going. It's getting late." Keiko looked at her watch with a frown. Most of them had school the next day. "Yuusuke, did you even start your homework?"

* * *

Botan walked back to her place alone from Keiko's house. As she walked, she hugged the small stuffed cat that Kuwabara had won from the machine. Though she felt horrible, she had no real reason to cry. If anything, Hiei had given her a gift. A gift that she would treasure for eternity. Perhaps her time on Ningenkai was done...even though Reikai seemed so uncomfortable compared to it. But perhaps...she wouldn't stay on either. Perhaps she would treasure his gift in a place that she had always been curious about yet too scared to submit to. Her soul, her whole being, held a longing, even when she first died. That place...it was calling her. Would she ignore it as she always had? Or would she yield to its beckoning calls?

* * *

_His name pulled at my heart urgently, as though questioning my loyalty to him. There was no way that I was betraying him if he thought I was better off without him. How could I betray him if I went to a place where I belonged? My mind refused the calling once more, refused to submit to the longing of a different world. Why should I leave just yet? Even though I considered it...even though it was so inviting, I still refused. I felt chilled at the prospect, though I hardly knew the reason. He wouldn't take me back. I told myself so many times that I've lost count._

_Hiei wouldn't hold me, he wouldn't kiss me, and he wouldn't tell me he loved me. I was grateful to him for his gift to me. For the brief time of my - no...**our** happiness. Though he probably had and always will deny it, I knew he was happy. I knew because of the crimson Hiruiseki stones that I possessed. If he hadn't cared, then he wouldn't have cried._

_If I passed on, I would never see him again. That thought alone was enough to turn that longing away. I loved him with all of my heart and, even if we couldn't be together, I wanted to see him...so badly._

* * *

She stopped walking and pulled the necklace with the Hiruiseki stone on it from beneath her shirt. No matter how hard she tried, he wouldn't leave her mind. Therefore, she had only one option. She had to see him. Looking around her, she realized that she was one of the only ones on the streets. It was beginning to get quite late. Turning around, she changed direction without caring about the time. Her eyes narrowed as she approached her destination at a run. The gates were locked... But that was fine. She had other ways to get in. Summoning her oar, she boarded it and flew over the gate, leaving the stuffed cat behind on the sidewalk. 

Though it was dark, she knew exactly where it was. She knew the exact path to his tree, knew the exact branch on which he always slept. However, when she reached it, it was vacant. He wasn't there...but he would return, right?

"Hiei..." She got off her oar and sat down on the branch with her back against the trunk of the tree. There she would remain until he returned from wherever he was. "I'll wait... I promise..." After only ten minutes with the darkness pressed close around her, she began to drift off. She grew cold, sitting there without even a light jacket on. But she didn't care. No matter what, she would sit there and wait. And so, not too long after that, she fell asleep, dreaming of her sweet memories.

* * *

_Shouldn't that baka onna be home by now?_

He didn't think he had the courage but he found himself unable to remain away from her, even if it cost him his pride, some of which was still lost. He fidgeted. After the way he was around her, there was no way that he was staying away for good. After the way she made him feel, the way he felt when he was with her, he couldn't remain just friends. Even if he was the Forbidden Child, she didn't seem to care. All she wanted was to be with him. His crimson eyes narrowed when a figure walked by down below. Not Botan... He was waiting for her to get back to her apartment. It was getting late and still no sign of her.

_Baka onna...where are you?_

He was quickly becoming frustrated. Perhaps he should just forget about the whole plan. Perhaps she was better off without him. Maybe she had stayed with the detective's woman...that Keiko girl. He raced quickly to the Yukimura residence by way of the rooftops. He didn't sense her inside so that meant that she had left. Puzzled, he thought about his options. There was really only one, anyway. That was to go back to his tree and pretend that none of his little scavanger hunt happened. So, he began his short journey 'home' to his tree. At the gates, he caught her scent. His eyes landed on a small stuffed cat lying on the ground. It was covered in her scent. He picked it up and jumped the gate with little effort before racing to his tree. Her scent had vanished in that one spot. Upon reaching his tree, he planned to further ponder his discovery when he made another, more startling one.

"Botan?" She was asleep in his spot. She had come looking for him just as he had looked for her. And she had waited, as he had, only she had fallen asleep. He perched himself in front of her before poking her arm. "Baka onna, wake up." He set his hand on her shoulder and shook her gently. Her eyes fluttered open. "Botan." She gasped sharply and looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Hiei!" Her movements had drawn his attention to the necklace she was wearing. However, he didn't have time to wonder about why she was wearing one of his Hiruiseki stones because she grabbed his cloak and pulled him to her in a firm embrace. He dropped the stuffed cat, forgetting that he even had it. His arms slowly circled her lithe form as she held him tightly. "I missed you so much. I had to see you! I couldn't be away from you any longer without...finding out how...you feel." She let him go, gently pushing him away to look at him. She could hardly make out his face in the darkness but she didn't care. He was there with her.

"I don't know." The answer was blunt but spoken accurately. He really didn't know how he felt because he had never felt that way before. He lifted one hand from her waist and gently touched the necklace she was wearing. She felt an ache flare through her body. Had he been using her for his own purposes? If he had...she didn't care. She just wanted to be near him.

"Tell me...what you do know." He was surprised that she had requested such a thing. Hiei knew next to nothing about emotions and feelings but he knew what he wanted. His crimson eyes nearly glowed in the darkness, his gaze meeting hers firmly. He was silent for a good few minutes, answers briefly flashing in his mind then receeding before he could grasp onto them. Then, finally, one stuck out from all the rest.

"I want to be with you." Tears stung at her eyes as she reached out to hold him once more. She smiled shakily at his answer. It was strange. She had never before wanted anyone to hold her so badly. He made her feel safe and he was so comfortable to hold. She shivered when she felt his hands on her back and his arms around her waist. "Are you cold?" He looked down at her, his body temperature rising.

"I'm fine, Hiei... Just fine." She looked up as he leaned down, his lips gently brushing her own. Before he had the chance to pull away, she freed her hands and wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. When she pulled away, he resisted briefly. "Are you all right?" He didn't say anything but turned his head away. After a moment of silence, she heard his quiet voice.

"You should go home. It's getting late." The way he said it made her open her mouth to protest. "Onna, it's getting late." She closed her mouth and nodded, summoning her oar. "Don't forget that ridiculous toy." When he said that, she looked down before jumping to the ground.

"I think you should keep him." She floated back up on her oar and held the stuffed cat out to him. He gave her a look.

"Keep him at your apartment, onna. I have nowhere to put anything." His voice was cold and it gave her chills. Suddenly, she grinned at him. "What?"

"I'll keep him in your room." She hugged the cat firmly in her arms. "So...I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" He nodded but said nothing as he made himself comfortable in his spot. "Good night, Hiei." He merely grunted his infamous 'hn' before settling in. She smiled and took off, eager to get to sleep so that she could wake up and see him again.

* * *

_I wanted to hold him, to kiss him, to be with him. The kiss made me realize that I **had** to be with him, no matter what the consequences. He was withdrawn and often cold but those weren't exactly terrible things. I loved him because of him and nothing else. When I was with him in the beginning, my feelings didn't compare to what it felt like that night. The days were much brighter when I was able to see him. He stopped by before and sometimes after training. It eased my mind, making me confident that he was becoming more comfortable with staying with me._

_The visits grew longer until one night...he didn't leave..._

* * *

"Hiei, what do you think? I'm going to ask Koenma-sama if I can live here permanently, on Ningenkai. That way, even after Yuusuke's days as a Spirit Detective are up, I won't have to leave." Botan stared up at him, her gaze questioning. The koorime didn't say anything for a few moments. 

"Will he allow it?" She grinned at him as though she knew the answer. "Well, onna? Will he?"

"He still owes me for his lack of courage at the wedding." His expression darkened at the mention of the event. She leaned up and kissed him softly, tightening her grip around his neck. When she pulled away, he gave her a look. "You don't have to worry about anything, my love. If I had married him, everything would have been a disaster. I wouldn't have given him an heir and Enma-sama probably would've banished me. I didn't even want to kiss him at the alter."

"Onna." His stern gaze made her smile affectionately. "Isn't that other ferry onna going to marry him, anyway?" She laughed before nodding.

"It didn't take him too long to ask her. Bet he figured if he waited too long, Enma-sama would've chosen another girl for him and he would've had to go through the same thing again." Koenma had told them that day that Ayame was going to marry him. "Glad that he's not rushing the wedding, though. He told me that the earliest will be six months, if not longer." Hiei didn't seem affected by the news. In fact, it seemed as though he didn't even care. "Hiei, what are you thinking about right now?" Her question was voiced only to break silence. She pretty much knew that he wouldn't tell her anything. One thing she always feared was not being able to tell how he felt about her. However, the fact that he visited her and spent time with her made it plain enough.

"Hn." He let a smirk ease onto his face as he closed his eyes. She stared at him, feeling her heart swell with joy at being so lucky that he was there with her. "Do you like weddings?" He asked suddenly. She cocked a brow when he looked at her. "Well, onna?"

"Yes, of course I do. But...when I thought I had to marry Koenma-sama instead of you..." Tears stung at her eyes. "I was heartbroken and sick with misery. I never did understand why it affected me so much. I never thought that I could react that way..." He frowned, staring at her. Perhaps if she let it all out to him, she would feel better. "When I looked at myself in the mirror, I thought it was someone else. It couldn't have possibly been me because the only person I could ever marry would be you...and we weren't getting married. I was so disgusted by my own behavior that I knew what had to be done." She paused, staring deep into his crimson eyes. "I had to be with you or I wouldn't exist at all. Hiei...you mean everything to me and so much more... I had to be faithful to you."

"Onna... Botan, I was at fault for that entire situation. If I had only...stifled my longing to know what companionship was like, neither of us would have been in that predicament." She smiled at him then.

"It was worth it, though. It all worked out, right?" He had to agree with her. The fact that she hadn't married Koenma was proof that it was successful. He felt his hand wrap around her waist, pulling her close to him. His lips touched hers in a soft kiss as he shifted so that he had better access to her. Botan let out a small squeal when she fell onto her back with him sitting on top of her. Hiei stared down at her, now hesitant to even let his hands rest on her body.

"You...are afraid of this?" Her eyes met his for a brief moment that seemed like an eternity. Then she smiled and reached up to touch his cheek.

"Not as long as its you, Hiei." He felt a heat flare through him at the tenderness in her voice and her sweet words. He leaned down slowly, pressing deliberately against her, aware of even the softness of her skin beneath the fabric of her clothing. His lips met the base of her throat before journeying up to her lips. He was sure she was the one that would never betray him. He was sure she was the one that would love him, give him everything he'd ever wanted... She was his solace and he wanted to be embraced by those slender arms for the rest of his life. It was then that he knew that he had found a place called home where he could remain for all eternity.

* * *

_Alright, then! This chapter is finished. As for the fic itself, I'm not quite sure whether or not I'm gonna end it there. I was debating the issue of one last chapter to wrap things up... Anyway, maybe you can help me._

_Please leave a review and tell me what you think about Hazard having one last chapter. Sorry to do this but I can't decide whether or not I want to end it like this._

_Thank you all for your outstanding cooperation throughout this fic and I really hope to write more fanfics that you'll enjoy reading!_

_-Angel_


	6. In Her Eyes

_Hazard_

Disclaimer

Me? Own this? HAHA! Yeah right.

_In Her Eyes_

* * *

Hiei stifled a yawn. His late nights had been getting later and later. But it wasn't entirely his fault. Koenma didn't seem to care whether or not he made it back home the same night he went to work. What the hell was he, a slave? It sure felt like it. Makai had been his home for all of his life and he had thought he'd never see the day when he couldn't wait to leave it. And for Ningenkai. nonetheless. He was just about to discover the means to a telepathically-linked death when a ferry girl appeared in front of him. 

"I am so sorry that I'm late, Hiei." Ayame looked quite flustered as she tried to straighten her kimono. The koorime merely raised a brow before snorting.

"I thought the brat had actual _work_ to do. Next time this happens, I'll put his head on a spit." He wasn't in the mood to laugh and torture the poor ferry girl. All he wanted was to go home to his own ferry girl. Ayame opened her mouth to protest but the demon looked angry enough. And she sure didn't want to piss him off any more. They arrived at Ningenkai just a few minutes later. Hiei said nothing as he jumped off the oar and onto the roof of the apartment building where Botan resided. When he got close to the door, he heard voices inside. Not to mention that he could sense Yuusuke's Reiki.

"Hey, I didn't do it on purpose!" He froze when he heard Botan's laughter. He had been with her for over three months but yet, he wasn't used to it. Seeing her cheerful expression every day sort of drove him insane. So, sometimes he stayed away. But the truth was, he wished he could be as carefree as she was. It just wasn't in him to smile and be nice. Hell, he hated almost everyone he knew, with the exception of Yuusuke, Kurama, Botan, and Yukina. Even Shizuru was all right but he never really spoke with her. It was the same with Genkai. He never really got close to anyone. Letting himself get close to Botan was a big step in his life. Not to mention that it was a shot in the dark. "Stop laughing at me!" Botan and Yuusuke had a relationship that he couldn't quite fathom. They were so close that it was hard to believe that they only had feelings of friendship for each other. Hiei knew, though, that Botan loved him to a fault. He could never get jealous at her relationship with Yuusuke because he actually trusted her.

"Yuusuke, you're such an idiot!" Her laughter began to die down and that was when he chose to enter. Just as he opened the door, he heard her start to say something. "Thanks for staying with me while Hiei's in Makai. I just...hate being alone so much, y'know?" She looked over when the koorime closed the door. "Hiei!" He braced himself when he saw her get up. But she didn't embrace him like she usually did. He found it odd. "Welcome home!" His gaze landed on the Detective and he gave him a quick nod.

"Well, since you're here, I guess I should be going." Yuusuke stood up and Hiei escorted him outside, wanting to speak with him. "What is it, Hiei? I know you would rather be in that apartment than out here with me."

"I am...grateful that you are watching out for her." The detective's face took on a surprised expression before it eased into a smile. He then settled his hand on his friend's shoulder.

"I know how she is...and I know how strongly you feel for her. She's so alone sometimes and it makes me feel bad." He sighed and withdrew his hold, turning around to leave. "Besides, I know how Koenma is with you. I'll see if I can't straighten him out." The koorime said nothing as his friend walked away. Since he had come to Ningenkai, he had learned to trust, learned to love, and even learned to hope.

"Hiei! Get in here! I have a dinner ready for you." He _almost_ grinned when he heard her voice calling for him.

* * *

Botan gazed at him as he slept, her eyes studying every feature of him, from the way his bangs fell across his face as he slept to how he seemed so peaceful, without all that harshness to his face. She resisted the temptation to touch his face, so that she didn't wake him up. After all, he was a very light sleeper. They had been spending so little time together after Koenma gave him a job in Makai. She was becoming restless for his touches but he was always so exhausted that she couldn't be selfish. So, every time he arrived home, she had his dinner ready. He usually ate, showered, and then went to sleep. His bright crimson eyes held so much fatigue that she didn't know what to think of his work. Her amethyst eyes went to his chest, where she could watch his steady breathing. 

"Hiei..." His name left her lips softly and wistfully. How she wished that those magnificent eyes would open and gaze at her. Sighing in defeat, she rested her head on her pillow and closed her eyes. They didn't talk much. All she wanted to do was talk to him for at least an hour a night. But his duties were wearing him down, making him exhausted. She didn't understand why Koenma had made it so that he had to work so that they could remain together in Ningenkai. Of course, it was probably the lower crime rate. Since it wasn't so high, Koenma had less work to deal with. But it wasn't fair to her. All she wanted was an hour in his arms. She wanted to hear his voice, feel his breath on her skin.

The only thing she could do was dream...

* * *

Keiko looked longingly at her friend. Botan had just told her about what was going on. The ferry girl looked like she hadn't slept in a week. The young woman wanted time alone with the man she was willing to sacrifice so much for. 

"I think you need to speak with Koenma about this. Maybe you need to tell Hiei about it when he's with you tonight." Keiko knew instantly that Botan would protest to that. She had heard about how exhausted the fire koorime had been ever since he started. So, she continued before her friend could get the chance to decline the idea. "He will understand if he loves you like we think he does. Besides, he has to stand up to Koenma now or else endure it after he and Ayame get married. Botan, you need to talk to him and tell him how you feel."

"I know..." Botan looked down at her tea, her amethyst eyes shining with tears. "But he is so tired... I can't take up the time he needs to sleep just to talk about that." The look of fatigue...she wanted to make sure he didn't get worse. "Nothing ever dies down in Makai and I know he has his hands full, even though he never tells me. Keiko, this just isn't going anywhere right now. No matter how much I want something, he has to come first. He is supporting me." Keiko stared at her friend with a slight frown.

"Then get a job. Help him to support the both of you. My parents could use help around the shop and as soon as you get tired of this job, you'll at least have references and job experience." She smiled. "Go home and get some sleep. You'll need it for this. You just have to make your own way."

* * *

_I listened to her brilliant suggestion and started working at her family's tea shop. It wasn't so bad. We actually got to hang out with each other and I was making my own way. I began to buy better things for the apartment, even began to save for a bigger house for our possible future together. I bought things for Hiei and was able to get better foods to eat. Everything had become complicated, however. He had questioned me about our things and yet Koenma continued to give us the same amount for the apartment. I just told him that things were on sale. He never questioned it again until one day, I was stuck working over because the shop was busy so I didn't have everything ready by the time he arrived. I told him that things had gotten hectic during my day._

_But the more I held him off from the truth, the more I **lied** to him, the guiltier I got. One night, I decided to talk to him, as Keiko had encouraged me to do before. So, I waited for him, my exhaustion getting the best of me. I fell asleep without even getting his dinner ready._

* * *

"Huh?" She opened her eyes when she heard the door close. Before she could even fully wake up, Hiei had entered the kitchen. He pulled out the chair across from her wordlessly before sitting down. "Hiei..." He stared at her, his eyes narrowed. 

"Want to tell me what this is all about, Botan?" He stared at her as though he was scolding her. "You've been distant and even more tired lately. What is it?" She took a deep breath and looked down at the table before meeting his crimson gaze once more.

"I wanted more time to spend with you so...Keiko suggested that I work with her in her family's tea shop. I needed to help you, Hiei. You were killing yourself trying to keep up with Koenma-sama! I wanted to make my own way." He raised a brow at her. "Also...I've been saving for a new house... As soon as I save enough, we can buy a new place and depend less on Koenma-sama." He sighed and shook his head.

"You should've told me." Botan's eyes filled with tears. She instantly turned to her insecurity and thought the worst. He stood up and walked over to her, leaning down to kiss her. "Since we have a bit more, want to go out tonight? I noticed that you haven't even started dinner." A grin spread over her face that he hadn't seen in a while. She stood and threw her arms around him, kissing him excitedly as she barely contained her joy.

"Oh, Hiei! That sounds wonderful!" Going out to dinner would ensure that they had time to spend together. He smirked and nearly chuckled at how happy such a suggestion had made her. "I've got to get ready!" He watched as she ran from the room, her smile seeming so permanent. He had noticed how she looked at him with wistful, longing eyes. She wanted time with him. He couldn't deny her that, though he was quite tired. However, sleep came after her happiness.

* * *

Botan walked hand-in-hand with Hiei, hardly able to contain her grin. The dinner had been wonderful and they had actually spoken to each other. He told her exactly what it was that he did in Makai and he told her that Koenma told him that, after the wedding, things would change. After all, with his and Yuusuke's threats in mind, the godling couldn't really argue. She told him about working at the tea shop and about how she missed their time together. Hugging his arm and snuggling next to him as they walked home, she felt like crying. Their night together was over; thing would undoubtedly return to how they had been. 

"I'll miss you." She whispered. He looked down at her, knowing exactly what she meant. Frowning, he tightened his hold on her hand. He could smell her tears. Quickly, he picked her up, taking care to get her dress, and darted back to their apartment. As soon as he got her inside, he set her on their bed. Wiping her tears away with his thumb, he remembered how he had fallen in love with her.

* * *

_I remember her tears, those eyes shining with sorrow. When I looked at her, I could sense her misery. She wanted to continue spending time together. She didn't want it to end. I didn't have the resolve to tell her that we couldn't spend any time together. Her curly cerulean hair fell over her shoulders and stuck to the damp skin of her face. I couldn't help but wrap my arms around her. When had I become so dedicated, so taken with a human woman? When had I ever dreamed of living in a small apartment and working in Makai, keeping bandits and other fierce criminals from harming innocents? Surely, I had never dreamed of it. However, it didn't seem so bad._

_I had finally settled down and stopped running. I had found someone worth placing my trust in, someone that wouldn't hesitate to do anything for me. And I was content._

_For the first time in my existance, I was content..._

* * *

He leaned in, gently kissing her lips. She gripped at him, desperate for his touch. How had he never noticed how much he had been neglecting her? He felt emotions he didn't like surface in his mind. 

"I promise you, Botan." She looked up confusion. Her eyes searched his for an answer. "I will never make you feel this way again." Suddenly, she understood. With a soft smile, she embraced him tenderly.

"I know you will make up for it tonight, Hiei." He smirked as he pulled her up, slowly slipping her dress off of her body. She blushed, as though he had never done such a thing before. Her innocence would always remain, he reminded himself. He quickly discarded his clothing before grinning maliciously. She would forever remember that night.

He was sure of it.

* * *

Botan opened her eyes to the sound of her phone ringing. She looked at it blearily before realizing that she was on the inside of the bed. So, she crawled over her sleeping lover and picked it up, nearly falling off the bed in the process. 

"Hello...?" Her voice was so hoarse that it sounded like she had been using it all night. Well...so she had... Finding that it was Keiko on the phone made her instantly jump into panic. "Am I late? Do you need me?" The young girl laughed and told her to relax. It was a weekend so Botan didn't need to go in. "No, I...I guess I slept in." Good thing they were on the phone because the color of her face would've given her away at why she had slept in. "Do you want me to call you back later?" After a few more moments on the phone, they hung up and she got out of bed. Making her way to the bathroom, she closed the door and pulled out her communicator.

"Yes? Oh, Botan! I was wondering where Hiei was this morning. Is he coming in?" She nodded before beginning to explain to him what their situation was. "Sounds good to me. Actually, I have something to tell you. It is good news so don't worry. I actually hired a bunch of new guys over in Makai. Yuusuke was telling me that he had spoken to them and they had considered working. You remember Chuu, Jin, Touya and the others?" At her nod, he grinned. "Well, they're gonna lighten up Hiei's load. He can have weekends off now. Any time he needs to stay home with you, he can just let me know." She gasped and smiled brightly.

"Oh, Koenma-sama, that sounds simply wonderful! Thank you so much!" She would've hugged and kissed her boss over and over just for what he had done but she wasn't in Reikai at that moment. "Oh, I was meaning to ask. How is Ayame? And are the wedding plans going okay?" After catching up, they closed the connection and she took a quick shower before going out to share the good news with the sleeping koorime. Grinning, she climbed onto his back and set her hands on his shoulders before leaning down close to his ear. "Sleeping beauty...?" He grunted and opened his eyes. "You have work today." Her grinning face was the last thing he expected to encounter. He blinked the blurriness from his eyes and stared up at her before rolling over and knocking her back into her spot in bed.

"Why are you so happy?" His voice was colder than ice but it only made her grin wider. She leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips before sitting up.

"Well, I just got good news from Koenma-sama. Thanks to Yuusuke and some others in Makai, you don't have to work every day." He stared blankly at her. "Yuusuke told Koenma-sama that Jin, Touya, Chuu, and the others wanted jobs. So, they're taking some of your patrol." He blinked then tackled her to the bed, kissing her senseless. It made her happy that he didn't have to do so much, that he could spend some time with her.

"Onna, you are such a baka." She gave him a confused look. It was simplicity in itself to make her happy. But that was the sweetness of it. He leaned down once more, his lips capturing hers for a long moment. She was upset when she felt his weight shift off of her. Opening her eyes, she noticed him going into the bathroom. The least she could do was fix him breakfast.

Hiei waited on the roof for Ayame. They were silent as she took him to Makai. He made sure to warn her that she couldn't be late or else he would have Koenma's head. The ferry girl looked at him worriedly. He merely waved her off before leaving to patrol his area.

"Hiei? Is that you!?" Jin bounced in front of him and the koorime forced himself to skid to a stop. He stared at them in horror. "You have to tell us where we'll be today. Koenma explained it all but he said that you were our leader." Cursing Koenma became his foremost thought. Why had he gotten the most annoying job in Reikai?

Just when he thought things would be better...

* * *

Botan looked Hiei over as he stormed into the apartment. He was earlier than usual. But his mood was foul. She set his plate down and took off her apron. Her day at work was stressful but she decided to keep it to herself. Keiko had gotten so pissed off that one of the customers had yelled at the bubbly ferry girl. But she didn't mind it. Nothing could bring her down. Not when she was with the man she loved. He sat down and looked up at her, watching as she fixed his tea just the way he liked it. 

"How are you?" She almost jumped at the sound of his voice. Turning around, she smiled brightly at him. She would spend so much time with him that he would probably get sick of her. How did he think she was?

"I feel like I'm walking on the clouds." She answered as she moved toward him with his cup of tea. Leaning down, she kissed his cheek. "How are you, my love?"

"Annoyed with those idiots." He replied, his voice steadily losing the anger it had carried before. "I am glad that I will not have to see them for the next few days." She stared at him with wide, eager eyes. He reached out and grabbed her shirt, pulling her to him as he stood up. He kissed her gently before sitting back down, acting like he'd nothing unusual. She placed her hand to her lips and smiled serenely. Everything would work out.

"I love you." He looked up at her before smirking. How long had he known that? For a while.

"Hn. I love you, as well, baka." Her small smile made him feel better than he had the entire day. Their future was unsure but he knew that he would be with her for as long as he was able. She sat across from him, her amethyst eyes never leaving his crimson ones. In her eyes, he saw eternity. In her eyes, he saw his place.

In her eyes, they were forever.

* * *

_Well, I feel as though I'm finally done with this fic. I had a lot of fun writing it though this chapter seemed the hardest. Probably because this is the end._

_I hope this didn't bring the whole fic down but I felt as though it wasn't complete. I wanted another chapter so I thought, why not? After all, I'm sure that none of you would object to a bit more HB. I felt like writing more scenes of them together after their struggles together. Thank you all for sticking with me through this. I loved your encouragement and your reviews were outstanding._

_Thank you all._

_-Angel_


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